Saturday, March 11, 2017

Another joins the club

What is the worst moment in your life?
Loosing your son and those moments when it is all starts to become reality.
Today, another young man lost his life way too young.
Today, I stood in their house and hugged another mom that has joined an unwanted... undesired... horrific club... the club of parents who have lost a child. 
It was like stepping back in time to that day.... the worst day of my life!
The horrific irony of this moment, when I am hugging this mom, was that nine years ago she was hugging me when I was in the grips of the most unbearable pain of loss.  But that is not the most ironic.  Her second husband a very close friend of ours, also lost a child.  One of a triplet about eight years before our son and the other two children were the same age as my son growing up together as friends. 
When is it enough?
Death lingers.
So many questions that are unanswered and never will be.
It brings back so much.  Flashbacks.  Feelings.

Closing the casket
Saying goodbye
Uncontrollable sobs
who is screaming
it's me
Inconsolable grief
Strangles my chest
I can't breath
Physically sick
My heart is broken
a gaping hole


  1. My heart broke for you, your friend and all other parents that have lost a child as I read your post. I can't even begin to imagine the pain. I pray you are able to be the strength for your friend as she was for you so many years ago.

  2. I cannot say I know what you are experiencing, but I can imagine. My parents lost their son, I lost my brother when he was 29 and your blog captured that grief so accurately. No one should ever have to experience such pain and loss. Sending you lots of love.

  3. Your pain is raw and tangible in your words. My heart breaks for you and all parents in your shoes. Your friend is lucky to have you in this worst of times. Even though there are no words to take away the hurt, the hug of someone who understands the loss is very meaningful, I'm sure. What a good, strong friend you are to be able to share that hug even when it causes you to relive your own pain.

  4. I was there in the midst of your hug that sent all sorts of messages: warmth, support, consolation, and empathy in moments of need. I attended a wake last week of a 26 year who lost his life. The hugs were genuine. Words could not express what the hug said. I am saddened by the pain that is in the world today. Hugs count.