I've been struggling this week. Each day I promise myself I will get back to the Slice Challenge to write it out but then I just can't. I stare at the blank screen. I type one liners and erase...
----Have you ever wonder what your purpose in life is?
----I am searching for a sign that you are still here.
Then I read a title of an NBC post from Mandy Moore about the disappointment of the season finale of "This is Us". By the way I love the show and was left hanging!
She said, "Sometimes we don't get the answers we want. Patience."
I know she was only talking about the fictional family on TV but what she said grabbed my attention and spoke to some of my internal struggles.
Up until nine years ago I was pretty sure of the direction in life I was taking and thought I knew many of the answers to life's questions but that rug was ripped out from under me. Now it's like rips and tides on the beach. Ebbing and flowing. Confidence and uncertainty. Understanding and confusion. Fulfillment and emptiness. Happiness and sadness. Sometimes I can go weeks and months where I am fine. Then all it takes is something bad happens in life, a comment, conversation, or just what doesn't happen.
This is why I hesitated to post because I sound like a crazy person but if you see me everyday you wouldn't know this is going on inside. I stand tall because I am tough and will keep on keeping on.
I know I'll be ok again because I can be patient. It will subside and I won't know all the answers but I can be happy. I have accepted that events happen in my life that I may not know the answers to why but with patience someday I will.
Thanks Mandy Moore for your message that mysteriously came to me when I needed an answer.