I'm trying to branch out in my writing and wrote a rough attempt at a two voice poem. After my son's accident I felt like my life was divide in two... my life before Trent passed away and my life after. I struggled with how much my life had changed living without him along with how I had changed dealing with the pain. This is just some rambles of thoughts about that change.
Life Before Life After
High School classes, American History,
Algebra, English, Computers
Notebooks, quizzes and school assignments not
complete brought to us in a cardboard box
Piles of clothes...
Clean and Dirty
Piles of clothes at first with the Old Spice scent
but then slowly fades away
Easy conversation with friends
and Peers
Sideways looks when they think I'm not looking or
quick get away when I mention the name
Constant nagging to get chores done
Trash piles up, animals wait for me to feed them
Teenage kids hanging out, playing video games
Quiet
Attending sporting events searching
Attending sporting events searching
Revving motor, gravel flying, Brrraap
Straining to listen but silence
Bus stopping, lights flashing, dog yipping
Bus zooming by, dog's ears perked up
Looking forward to graduation
Baccalaureate with a memorial speech
given by a friend
Muddy boots
Empty boots
Defined by how many children
I have
Defined by how to explain how many children
I have
Trips, family events, funny episodes
Memories
Whole
Broken
4
3
I'm sorry for your loss. This is a powerful poem. Keep working with it.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you are working through the loss of your dear son. I admire your courage to put your thoughts and feelings to words. Both voices are very strong in your piece.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. The poem is strong and real. Writing seems to be a good way for many to deal with their grief.
ReplyDeleteThis is powerful Kris! You captured so many pieces and wrapped both sides together beautifully. My heart breaks for you. I didn't know Trent, but I sure love hearing your stories!
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful way to tell your story and to share the memory of your son. The idea of the before and after prespective, while specific to your story, has universal power in its emotional connection. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteVery sorry to hear about your loss. I think you offer a very honest reflection and creative way to share your thoughts on loss. I'm sure many will find comfort in the beautiful way in your capture the before/after. Thanks for sharing this slice.
ReplyDeleteWhen you first told me about this post you brushed it off as silly, like it wasn't anything special. It is very special. The way you separated the lines works perfectly. The emotion you feel is clear as you show it all the way through, you almost never say what you are feeling, just explain each scene as it was and is and the feelings are definitely felt by the reader. Which I am thinking was your intent, if not, you did it really well.
ReplyDeleteThis is so real and so sad. I echo Betsy's thoughts. So sorry that you have had this in your life.
ReplyDelete