My Night Life

Kicking back in my recliner trying to catch up with Jimmy Falon shows on my record list I look over at my husband in his big leather over stuffed chair and I think wow I lead a glamorous life! 
He's got a death grip on the remote and is snoring like a Johnny Popper tractor.  At first it's only a slow rumble, an idle, but then it gradually shifts gears ... first, second, third... getting louder and louder by the moment.  Finally, I can't hear my TV show any more because he's working so hard in the field and the muffler on his tractor must be broken.   I try to be considerate and say, "Hey, Brad."  Of course he can't hear me over his motor sounds so I yell, "Hey, Hey, Hey!"
"Huh, what?" Brad responds groggily.
"You're snoring!" I say.
"I'm not even sleeping."
Of course I think to myself there I go again making things up and he immediately falls back to sleep. Meanwhile we are watching all the commercials on a previously recorded show because they are so great. I finally get him to fast forward through the commercials and next thing you know he's zoomed through the commercials and halfway through the show.  Looking over I see he's back to sleep!
"Hey!"  I yell.
Yep, don't be jealous of my glamorous night life with my husband! This is night life after twenty five years of marriage.