Friday, March 4, 2016

Lost Dog!

Lost Dog!

Have You Seen Me?

I look kind of like a bloated sausage with short stubby legs.
I am a pure bred possibly inbred red heeler cattle dog.  My purpose is to herd livestock but I have ADHD!  Unfortunately,due to my condition, I get too excited and run my master's sheep all over the pasture barking incisively or grabbing a mouthful of wool as the sheep leap over my head, crazy to get away from me.
My other job is to let everyone know when someone new has arrived at the farm.  You could say that I am the Shrontz Farm greeter.  I get a thrill when I sneak up behind them poking my nose into their calf because they always freak out.  I just smile and trot away knowing that I've done my job.
My colors are a blended mixture of yellow, orange, white and occasionally poopy brown or streaks of green shows up on the side of my face, back or sides.  And for some reason whenever I have those occasional poopy brown and green colors on me I can't get anyone to pet me let alone let me inside my house to curl up on my couch.  No matter how much I bang against the door with my hard nose!  All I hear is more yelling.
If found I answer to several names: Hoss, Hossy, Hey #*#*#*, Shut up, Get over here, or Out!  Some names I respond a little quicker than others.
Warning! If you find me don't try to shut me up in the house or garage as I have a phobia of being locked up or left out.  I will go completely berserk and trash your house not because I want to but because I completely lose my mind.  One time I ripped the screens out of ALL the windows, pulled the shower curtain off the rod, strung the trash over the whole kitchen and my last but not least a pile of poop somewhere special.
These are my neighbors!
I was last seen hanging out in the neighbors house eating snacks and playing with the little people.

On second thought ...

I'm not lost just waiting for my mommy to come get me.  I forgot to add that I don't like exercise and I only come home from the neighbors when the "cab" shows up to bring me home.  Until then I will continue to eat, sleep and play at the neighbors.


  1. Oh my goodness! This is awesome Kris! I bet the little people/neighbors love that bloated sausage as much as you do! Great picture!

  2. Love how you wrote this!
    Hope you found this special dog! Oh my.

    1. I can see why you get lost at the neighbors. Sweet.

  3. Ha! Perfect. Love all the description. Sounds like a happy dog.

  4. No lost dog here. We have a happy stinky kid loving dog though that fits this some times

  5. Such a cute slice! I'm glad you were not really lost ;-)